Radio

Muahahah! tak de sebab nak post but nak jugak post sesuatu! Lately I selalu sgt emotional. Now i know the contributing reason.  Bukan sebab I dah tua but single, tapi the songs they play on the radio! To begin with is jar of hearts christina perri. Mmg menambah emo kalau dgr lagu ni time driving, buat rasa nak marah je kt lelaki-lelaki gatal yg buat perempuan ni mcm tissue paper. Dah pakai buang, kalau nak lagi ambil yg baru.

Then datang pulak lagu California King bed, to me the definition lagu ni mcm she's loosing grip on a guy yg dulu she own entirely. Mmg buat diri ini emo jugak kalau dgr while driving. Buat rasa marah je kt lelaki yg cuba nak slowly tinggalkan perempuan dgn perlahan-lahan creating a gap. Then "poof" never heard from him anymore

And then, don't let me get started with Adele's someone like u! My first boyfriend dump me kata sebab nak concentrate on study tapi sekali a couple of months after that ada girlfriend pulak! Memang Adele help me define the feeling I had at that moment!

The last but not least! I want to tell all men out there yg used me as a door mat then dump me just like that, please listen to every single words Beyonce says in Best thing I never had

The sad part is that the radio constantly playing these songs! I have to listen to them and I ends up being emotional and stressed. They relate so much to my life and I hate them for telling the truth. I just think men need to listen to every song I listed above and treat your women better! Love them and don't ever let them feel wht those songs are talking about because it hurts a lot!

Dear Bill Rancic............

Bill and Giuliana Rancic

I was trying to have a life and stay away from Facebook. So, I ends up watching some tv. The only interesting show on tv was Giuliana and Rancic. Then, there I was with a bottle of junk food sitting on the couch all by myself watching the show.

Half way through the show I realized that Bill Rancic is just the PERFECT MAN ALIVE!!!!

He is very caring and patient! Unlike certain man I have encountered with!

Most men cannot put up with women that have to concentrate with their job and not on their men! But Bill is just different! He is pissed sometimes, but he still constantly calling Giuliana even though she didn't picks up and he still flew half way round the world just to be with her! That is just AWSOME!!!

There were time in the show where he himself is suppose to be busy traveling but he still find some time to give Giuliana a call! He never gives up even though she didn't picks up the call.

As a 24 years old single woman, I was in cloud 9 watching the show by wishing somehow I will ends up having a rich, hot, and caring husband like that, who would put up with my shit.


In conclusion thanks to E channel for giving me a target in life. "Find a good looking, caring and rich husband". This is achievable because Sazzy Falak has found one. I believe the Malaysian version of Bill Rancic would be Nazril Nash Idrus. Their job are the same and they are good looking men with celebrity wife!


Any how, by 3/4 of the show I realized that most of it is just acting and it's not a true reality tv. Hence, I changed the channel for my sister in law and go to my room and write this post.

 

Raging hormones

I usually don't post on my blog that often, but thanks to my boss's suggestion, here I am writing another post even though the previous post was post ted 4 days ago.

I pun pelik kenapa I ikut je cakap dia! Dia suruh pakai tudung hitam hari ni pun i pakai lepas tu dia suruh I post bout the stress I am having pun i post! Nak mati Wani ni! Ape nak jadi ni Wani!

Tapi pedulikan semua itu! All I know I am very stressed! Bukan sebab bnyak kerje, moderate je workload, tapi tension! tak tau kenapa! Rasa stress and everyday pergi office rasa mcm mayat hidup, mcm tak ada daily achievement pun! Kenapa la Wani ni teruk sgt. I believe that this is just phase, I have been experiencing this "moody season" since the previous company. Once this season is over I will be back as productive as I usually am.

Being in this season is so hard! Stress 24/7 sampai jadi sleepless, asyik fikir pasal kerja walaupun sebenarnya tak de kerje pun, lepas tu yg paling leceh ialah kuat cemburu!

Benda merepek pun boleh cemburu. Tahap pathetic la perasaan cemburu ini sehnggakan colleagues keluar nak pergi dgr talk pun I boleh ingat diorg pergi makan tak ajak! Bodow kan! benda kecik pun boleh cemburu!

Anyway I know that this is just my raging hormone nak period kot. But the stress is giving me the headache. I really wish it will over soon, tak larat nak melayan perasaan sendiri......

Semakin tua semakin emo!

Di malam yg hening tatkala cuba utk memejamkan mata tiba2 teringatkan perasaan emo yg membuak didalam diri pagi tadi.

Punca emosi diri ini terganggu adalah kerana penat memandu selama 3 jam tanpa berhenti, seorang diri di pagi mulia hari raya yg ke 6. Setibanya di dalam kawasan Negeri Sembilan, tiba2 aku teringatkan ketidak adilan yg telah dilakukan kan oleh seseorg yg aku panggil "boss" terhadap diri ini beberapa bulan yg lalu. Aku menjadi marah hingga terasa mau "resign"!!

Ceritanya begini........

Semasuknya aku ke pejabat baru, aku telah mendapat seorg kawan yg juga memulakan hari pertamanya seperti aku dan bekerja dibawah boss yg sama seperti aku.

Tetapi dia merupakan anak emas kepada boss kerana paras rupa yg cantik. Dia mendapat segala kelebihan seperti mendapat kerja yg mudah2, dan juga berpeluang menghadiri semua meeting walaupun meeting itu berkenaan dgn sebut harga yg aku hasilkan.

Semasa dia ada, aku ada berasa cemburu, tetapi pada masa itu aku takut dgn perasaan cemburu itu kerana segan jika makna cemburu itu adalah kerana aku menyimpan perasaan kepada boss aku.

Beberapa bulan yg lalu dia meninggalkan kompeni itu. Setelah dia pergi, aku la org yg terpaksa menyambung kerja2 nya. Aku sgt marah hingga tanpa segan silu memaki di white board yg boleh di lihat oleh rakan sekerja kerana aku perlu menghabiskan kerja nya.

Pernah juga aku menghantar email yg menyakitkan hati kepada boss kerana tidak puas hati dgn keadaan aku yg perlu menghabiskan kerja org lain. Tapi aku tak rasa boss aku sedar akan perasaan marah ku itu. Dia hanya fikir aku ini mempunyai perasaan terhadapnya.

Nasib baiklah aku mempunyai seorg kawan yg ku kongsikan segala perasaan aku kepada nya dalam semua situasi. Aku meminta pandangannya tentang punca cemburu ku itu dan dia dapat melihat bahawa cemburu ku itu hanya berpunca dari ketidakadilan boss terhadapku walaupun pangkat aku dan perempuan itu sama tapi workload aku bnyak dan aku juga tidak dilayanan seperti dia!

Sewaktu outstation ke utara aku perlu memandu sendiri, tetapi ke selatan bersama perempuan itu dia bantunya memandu kereta tanpa complaint (meeting ini berkenaan quotation yg aku hasilkan dan perempuan itu tidak tahu apa2)! Dia mau ke sarawak membawa perempuan itu walaupun dia pernah menjanjikan bahawa SESCO adalah client aku....tetapi penghujungnya dia membawa aku atas pilihan kedua kerana perempuan itu sudah pun tender resignation.....

Begitulah tertekannya diriku sewaktu bekerja, tetapi aku pun tidak tahu kenapa aku boleh bertahan...

Dan sewaktu memandu seorang diri tadi, aku tertanya kenapa aku berdiam diri sahaja sewaktu aku diperlakukan seperti itu?

Suatu hari nanti aku kan meluah kan perasaan ini kepada boss aku, jika dia cuba utk membuli aku lagi kerana seorang perempuan yg dia minati, aku tidak akan teragak2 utk resign 24hours notice dan melaporkan ketidak adilan nya sewaktu exit interview. The only reason I am staying is because I love the nature of the work here and I worked in the previous company for a very short period, so I have to stay here for my reputation.

Sleepless in Jenjarom

It's 1.40 a.m. on a Sunday night and I am wide awake to write this Blog. I believe that these contributing issues that bugs my brain too much and wake me up from my sleep:

1. It's too hot and I am sweating like hell
2. I texted my boss at noon and he didn't reply (which is kinda effed up!)
3. I dun have my phone right next to me to wake me up for sahur so I keep on thinking what time is it now.
4. Tomorrow is the day where I will start wearing hijab to work!!!!

Let me explain about the item number four:

A couple of months ago I started working for this particular company and since the first day working I stopped wearing Hijab. I have been wearing hijab ever since I have reached puberty, there are times when I am just too stupid and I will not wear it once in a while. Most of the time I will have my hijab on!

The reason I stopped wearing hijab because when I applied for a vacancy at this new company, my friend told me that her friend told her that "this particular company" will only hire good looking people for sales position. So on the day I went for the first interview I didn't wear my hijab and I put a lot of make-up on.

I got hired!

Well I think it's because of my brain because the scope of work that I applied is exactly the same as my last job. So after the second question "So tell me about your current company" which I ends up telling a little bit of the company's background and a lot of my scope of work, the interviewer (my current boss), he ends up did most of the talking because he liked my answer to his question a lot!

So, since I was not wearing hijab on the first interview, I continued not wearing any for the second one and I came to work on the first day not wearing one until today which is almost 4 months of working.

After working in this company for quite a while I have got to know a couple of friends and two of them who have seen me with my hijab on my facebook profile had urge me to put my hijab back on. I have promised the first one that I will put it on since the starting of Ramadhan, but unfortunately as the ramadhan begins I have lost the guts to put it back on. I think I am still new at this "thing" and I can't give up so easy!

Then, came this another friend who urges me to do the same. Well, even before he pops up the idea, I already had that plan to wear one on the last three days of working before I go on a long holiday. With his proposal, so, it was easier for me to get a firm decision to wear it.

Now, it's the night before the "big" day and I kind of having cold feet imagining on what people would say looking at me all baik2 wearing hijab....haish....

I think this the main contributing reason why I am up at this hour.......

Well I am going to force myself to sleep now......

Good night.....zzzzz.......

Dedicated to the person I heart the most!

I am not sure if the title of this post is a proper sentence :-P

Anyhow,

I am madly in love with this particular person! I really like spending time with her! I love talking to her. I can spend hours talking to her! We are like two sisters separated at birth. Unfortunately both of us have been busy with work and family matters. It has been almost a month since the last time we meet each other. The last time we spent together was when we spend the whole afternoon watching Nur Kasih and The Pirates of the Carribean back to back.

Last week something happened in her family and I was one of the first that she choose to share the news! I almost cried in front of my boss when I heard that news. I really wanted to be at her side at that moment but I have some constraints that I can't share here in public. Luckily she understands it although I haven't explain it to her.



Days before the incident happen, I had missed her so much that I spent time looking at each and every one of her profile pictures on facebook and commented on almost all of them. Today I find myself looking at some old pictures from her album during the time when we were in uni. I was so pathetic that I ends up reading her comments and laugh at it. Those comments are so funny that it reminds me how much I like her sense of humor!

I bet you would have guessed who is this post dedicated to...
It's for Siti Fatimah binti Jamaludin! I LOVE U! If there is a guy out there with the exact same character as u are I would definitely marry him !

New Place, same old story.

I haven't post anything straight from my heart for quite sometime. Maybe because I have lost m heart somewhere in the middle. Anyhow, here I am wanting to share a thing or two to the whole world.

Before I get the chance to share, I will have to admit a stupid decision that I made. I was thinking that by being in a new place I will get a whole new type of boss that will treat me differently.

Anyhow in terms of appreciation of my ability to work, the new boss has taken me to the next level. He allows me to go to site visits. Initially he didn't take me to meeting's, but I have grown wiser and express to him that I want to join with any of his meeting and I even refresh his memory that I have told him during the interview not to put me in the office and I want to go out more!




The rest, in terms of the approval of quotation by being very particular in every points, I think all bosses are the same. Maybe one day if I become the boss I'll be the same. The whole issue of a salesman chasing his target it's the same here with my boss except this time he is the one who introduce the company and came back with the inquiry. The issue will only arise during the time when he wants to get the deal. He just have his annoying way which when we get the hang of it it will be okay.

The only annoying thing about my boss is that he will say what ever he wants to say without taking into account of people's feeling. Well I just have to cope with that and pretend that I don't listen to any of those harsh words. Because of him I get to be where I am, even though I am a chemical engineer who is trying to sell some circuit breaker, he still accepts me and convince his boss to hire me.

He always praise for a good job well done. It's making me feel all warm inside and forget the hatred that I have towards him. There are times I thing that he is just throwing me with a whole loads of work I need to realize that he has even more work than I do.

Today, I have made my decision to stay "here" until I have enough experience and then I will leave once the time is right. He has initially mentioned that he wants me to be here just for three years and then I may leave as I wish.

I just want to share with everybody that no matter where you work. The environment will still be the same. But it depends on the amount of experience and the facilities that the company manage to provide will help you decide whether to stay or leave. For me, I think it's worth staying here and having to stand to this harsh environment because I will learn a lot of things and the status of the company will make my resume look nicer in the future.

"This is what my boss has repeatedly remind me and my friend except he changes the word funny to handsome" <--Seriously, I'm not joking!