Emptyness and Fullness

Btw the words I used in the title of this post do not exist in the dictionary. So, please do not re-use it in any proper sentences.

I want to tell a small tiny story about my life. I have dumped my boyfriend for almost 4 months now. So, for 4 months I do not have a shoulder to cry on every time when I'm lonely or sad. But for the last 3 months I have moved in with my family and I have my niece to keep me occupy, my sister in law that I can hangout with and my brother to lepak with.

Even so, somewhere deep inside my tiny heart that is filled with FAT there is a small whole that can't be filled.

I tried to fill it in before but it doesn't work! How on earth that I can't see that he cannot fill it in?? He's just too "skema" for me! Then, now I have no intention at all to find the replacement to fill this emptyness within me.

But...

These couple of days...

All of a sudden I feel like it is being filled. But the huge question is..

WHO ON EARTH FILLING IN THAT PARTICULAR SPOT???

HOW COME I MYSELF DON'T KNOW WHO IS THE PERSON???

so, to that particular guy.. I you feel like you have been filling in the emptyness in my heart please inform me... Because I don't know why I feel "bahagia" like I'm up in cloud 9~~

Not so straight!

I have encountered with some physically perfect guys recently. Most of them I might classify as HOT! but, in the end, when I observe the way they walk...ALAMAK! KANTOI! LENTIK!. This is a true story and if you don't believe me, try to check out those hot men you see in IKEA and any gym near you.

I have been discussing this matter with people around me and most of the time we are going to come to the conclusion where gay guys are HOT.

Anyway, there is a GIGANTIC but here!

I was googling on the Royal Malaysian Navy logo and this is the picture that I ends up with...

OOOKKKAAAYYY

this is just disgusting! This picture is being posted in a blog saying that they are gay. So, i ends up doing some research on them through lots of blog and I ends up with loads more images of both of them smooching around!

Luckily I did not find their naked pictures! Or else I'll be single for the rest of my LIFE!!!

Any how~~ the result of my little research come to the conclusion that there are ugly gay men out there! Below are more images of them smooching!!! Enjoy~~~~

Ayoo!!!

Owh man!

I think the fat one is the receiving end!

They even went for a holiday together!

I'am sorry if this post is annoying, no one force you to read it on the first place! :-P

The pictures posted above are from this blog:

http://www.noktahhitam.com/malaysian-gay-marine-tldm.html

What a small world!

This might be one of those gedik post and if you don't like it just don't read it! I am not forcing anyone to do so!

I just one to tell a story on how small this world we are living in.

I was driving to work last Friday and I saw a pearl coloured Toyota Camry. All my life there's only one person I know drives this car. I used to check out his car everytime I drove nearby to his car park. Wanna know why?? Because I know, deep down inside me I have a feeling for him but I can never have him due to a lot of constraints. Ever since I graduated, I have reduced one of the constraints *wink* (sesiapa yg faham tu pura2 tak faham ye).

So, when I saw that white Camry last Friday, I remembered him. I even tried my best remembering his registration number. The I said to myself "Lame dah tak nampak kereta tu". After that I resume my life the usual way without the memory of him.

The weirdest thing happen yesterday. I had a date with my BFF, Timah in Bangi. We were suppose to meet in an Ayam Percik restaurant, but since I'm new in KL, I don't know where the heck the restaurant is. Then, I was lost and ends up in some housing area in Bandar Baru Bangi. While I was looking for a proper place to make a U-turn.

Then...

I saw...



Initially I just notice the car, then I saw the registration number. It took me a while to digest the information. After refreshing my memory then I remember. IT'S HIS CAR!!!. Then I cursed a lot because how on earth that I can see that car in Bangi after thinking about it the day before?? And the owner of the car is suppose to be in Johore???@$#%$

Then for confirmation I text him and he himself was shocked on how on earth I know that he is in Bangi. The he said to me what a small world. Well yes! It is a small world!

Tempe-tempe-tempe

Di malam yang sunyi ini, aku terasa nak makan tempe dgn sambal kicap! I started with aku teringat rasa tempe goreng resepi ibu aku yg letak ketumbar dan jintan bersama garam, kunyit, dan halia. Lepas tu, sambal kicap pulak! Sambal kicap ibu yg pekat, manis dan pedas! Kombinasi dua makanan ini buat aku terliur sekarang!





Dulu time sekolah rendah, mak cik kantin selalu goreng tempe. Mase tu bumbunye cume garam dan kunyit je. Sekeping 20 sen je kot! aku selalu beli sampai seringgit. Letak dalam plastik air yg lusinar tu. Pas tu banjir dgn sambal kicap. Walaupun sambal kicap makcik tu tak pekat tapi yg penting pedas! Pas tu aku makan sampai kotor baju sekolah aku. Dah la kuah kicap tu hitam baju sekolah pulak putih. Kalau baju sekolah aku ad bekas sambal kicap tu adalah biasa. Seingat aku time kt sekolah ni lah aku belajar makan tempe goreng dgn sambal kicap.


Since baju sekolah aku selalu ad stain sambal kicap, ibu aku pun tau la aku suke makan tempe. Ever since tu, kalau ayah pergi pasar hari ahad mesti beli tempe. Ibu goreng pas tu wat ratah mcm tu je! Sedap gle!

Nenek pun tau aku suke tempe. Kalau balik kampung, atuk mesti pergi kt simpang beli tempe. Nenek pun goreng pas tu aku makan dgn ape lagi sambal kicap nenek! Asyik banget!

One thing about johor, kat celah mane pun pergi mesti ad tempe! Kt kedai nasi berlauk tgh hari di sekitar johor, mesti ad sepinggan besar tempe dgn tahu goreng. Kat kedai goreng pisang pun mesti ad tempe goreng celup tepung. Kedai jual breakfast pun tetap ad tempe. Selama 23 tahun hidup di muka bumi ni. The whole time aku spent kat dalam negeri johor sampai la aku dapat kerje. Sekarang dah almost 4 bulan kt Selangor, dah lame gle aku tak jumpe tempe!

I need my tempe!

Untuk hiasan post ini aku letak some of gambar tampe yg aku google images. Looking at these images dah buat aku terliur sgt2! Tempe is the best!

Someone please convince me that i'm straight!!!

Hye!

I am pretty much sure I am straight! Why?? These are the reasons:

1. I check out cute guys (like all the time!)
2. I am having a HUGE crush on someone at this very moment
3. I had boyfriends before
4. I wear girl clothes
5. I constantly say "He is HOT" every time I watch Fahrin Ahmad on tv.
6. I flirt around a lot! (Bangla jual safety shoes pun aku boleh flirt!)

But something struck me just now!!! This is what happen:

I was stuck in a traffic jam on my way home from work. I was switching to other station since Red fm is playing WAKA WAKA (I hate this song!!). Then I decided to stop at Hot fm. While listening to it, then it happen!!

They played Nadia's- Salam Untuk Kekasih. (Watch the video below)

Then I started sing along and I almost cried!!! It's not because I remembered about any of my ex but I was thinking bout Erni Zuliana!!! The time we spent together flashes in my memory and the worst part is how we ended our days together with some stupid fight!!! Dammit!!

Then I realized, am I a lesbian??? Dammit!! I cried while listening to a sad love song over a girl friend! It's scary!!

While typing these words I remembered one more thing. I start my day at the office by giggling and texting with Timah. When Pian saw me giggling at every text message, he said that and I quote "Someone is in love this morning" NOOOOOOOO!!!!

Please...I want to be straight! Why do these things happen on the same day???

Dulu lain, sekarang lain!

Hye!
Ramai yg tau saya ni mulut kepoh!! Memang saya kepoh! semua org saya boleh kawan. Dari time sekolah sampai la kt tempat kerje org panggil aku internet bergerak. Kalau office gossip ke, class gossip ad je dalam pocket aku. Sampai vibrate poket aku bnyak sgt gossip.

This post bukan niat nak bergossip. Kalau gossip aku cakap belakang je tak cakap terang-terang!!!

Ini kesah tentang seorang sahabat. Dulu aku pernah lepak dgn dia time tgk bola.

Pas tu kalau aku ad masalah laptop aku mengadu kt dia. Dia rajin je tolong aku. Kalau aku msg mintak tolong mesti reply.

Kalau aku buzz kt ym nak kasi gossip SKK terkini mesti dia layan dan take note. Kalau aku post ketidak puasan hati kt facebook mesti dia la org yg respond.

Ini bukan kes cinta tak di balas. ok!

Tapi sekarang dia dah ad girlfriend. Kat facebook senyap je. Aku komen pun tak layan. Aritu time konvo pun tak nampak. Skg kt ym kalo nak online appear offline.

Dulu selalu je conference dgn aku or timah dgn kawan2 yg lain.

Ape salah aku dan timah dan yg seangkatan??

Ktorg ni perampas boyfriend org ke nak avoid ktorg ble dah ad girlfriend???

Hurm...ini lah luahan hati setelah kehilangan seorg kawan yg best gile utk lepak~~

Nak kasi terang lagi bersuluh ni ha gambar SKK dia ad dalam ni.....huhuhu

Nasib baik la mamat tu gambar tak leh upload internet lembab!!!
Stress!!! Aku post je lah!!!

Look ahead, go forward, don't look back and make a U turn

Here I am still lying on my bed at 11 a.m. on a saturday. All of a sudden I remembered a post from my friend on facebook deciding on whether to resign and continue his study or just go on and keep his job and still working?

This is my just my opinion by using the life i'm living as a guidance. I have been working steadily for 3 and a half months now. I have bought a new car and I live in a rented room. By the 20ish of every month I have to tight up my stomach and my budget for shopping. By the 15th of this month for example I only have RM200 in my account. I'm not worried because I have paid all of my debt, like my car installment, house rent, phone bill, and even my study loan for this month. This might sound scary to some of you because I have no savings at all. But it's ok for me because I get to enjoy my life the fullest while i'm still single.

This is how I would imagine myself if i am studying full time as a masters student. I would be living in a hostel where the pakguard will take note when are u going out and coming in. I will have to work myself out night and day. Day time attend classes or be in a lab. Night time completing my assignment and doing my report. Weekend I'll be doing the same thing as I did every weeknight. Where is the life?

For me I had lived life like that for years!! Ever since I was in the secondary school where I attended tuition every weekend. I missed family gathering, family's wedding...That is not how life should be. When I was in Uni I had to miss a lot of family time together too just because I have some examination or anything related.

Now i prefer living my life as an employee. I'll work 8.30 a.m. till I finish my work for that day (somewhere almost night). But I don't have to think about it on a weekend. I can relax and enjoy my 2 days off. I'll get my pay at the end of the month even though sometimes during office hour I feel like hanging myself to death for having too much work. But this is a new thing for me!! I had never live my life like this.

That's why I would like to urge my friends to not quitting your job and just do what you have to do and try to improve yourself. I believe non of you had your appraisal yet isn't it? Just stay on this new life! It's hard but it's interesting don't go back to where you were. It might seem easier but it's not taking you anywhere. When I went for an interview in Schlumberger, there were masters student from oversea uni, but they were not shortlisted. Instead some degree student from local unis were shortlisted and the one that nailed that job is a bioprocess student from UTM with just a bachelor degree. So those masters won't take you to a next level in your career. It's your experience and dedication!! Although I do agree tht studying for masters degree will increase the amount of knowledge but it doesn't make you a wiser person.

FYI, the owner of my company doesn't even have a masters degree but I bet he is more knowledgeable in engineering field compared to those lecturer with their fancy phd!! And one thing for sure he is far more richer than those doctorate lecturers!!


Renung2 kan dan selamat beramal~~~