Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Crazy little thing called love

I have a lot of male close friend...........some of them are married and I even know their wife. I just feel comfortable being friend with men because somehow most of my jokes are kind of "manly" and not many women will understand.

I can list all of them up, like Rezza who used to work in Protank, Pian, Hardi, then there's Daus from Matrikulasi in Tangkak and also from UTM like Abu and the rest. I also have a couple of friend here in ABB like Adly, Shahariman and all........

Anyway, perempuan ni cepat perasan. I always share my feelings and thoughts with them and pernah la at one point I felt like some of them had feelings towards me. But then now dah tua I am mature enough to understand that it's just plain friendship.

I still remember the feeling of "perasaan" that I had towards these friends.........it's different. It felt like puppy love and it came right after we get close (like after 1-2 months being friends), and after that the feelings kind of gone missing. Everything get back to normal

But then. now I have this friend. We've been friend for almost a year. I think that he is the closest of them all because he knows my "deepest darkest" secret and he accepts me as it is. I used to had a crush on him but I have got over it since he has a very weird view of a woman and sometimes he an ass! Nevertheless, lately, there are times when we had a conversation, and I kinda "perasan je lebih" that we are "staring" at each others eyes very deeply as in we care about each other.

Our first staring session occur a very long time ago where he ends up with a question "u pakai contact lense ke" which I had been made to understand that he was just admiring my eyes and not related to any feelings at all.

Then the second session was when he gave me a lecture on "you need to change your attitude in order to get a boyfriend". He was about to share what he was lecturing me about with a colleague, when there's this other guy walk in to the location and then, my friend stares deep into my eyes and getting the message from me that "no, don't share it with him, this conversation is private between us".

Our third staring session is two days ago, we were talking and he stared at me, I was also staring at him, and at the beginning of posting this blog I was very sure that there were feelings involved during this third session. But, by now, I kind of have come to realize that he was staring at me because he was just making sure that he had told me everything and no other important details that he had accidentally left out.

Hence, I can conclude this post with, sebenarnya tak ada apa-apa pun.....I je yang perasan...........Wakakakakak!