Thursday, February 16, 2012

Principle VS Feelings

Well when it comes to my principle and my feelings are in a middle of a race, I am just confused who should I name as the winner.

The story is like this. I have been having this feeling towards a certain someone a very long time ago. But I have this principle of not going with it since it will cause a very bad consequence. Well it will kind of ruined my life all together. I have been preaching that it's a bad thing for quite some time and yet this feeling is telling me the opposite.

I used to be successfully putting this feeling aside because I was distracted. And yet, lately I have lost my distraction and now I realized that the distraction is not strong anymore, in fact it is the main reason drawing me closer to this person that I am not suppose to have feeling with.

I am trying my best to somehow thinking bout his negative side to fight with this feeling and yet I always ends up loosing. The attraction is so powerful and I do not know how to handle it anymore. I was so lucky at one point I was saved by living in denial with this attraction because he kind of proposing the idea of having something between us and I  didn't get it and pointing the conversation to a whole different direction. I only realized that he was proposing the idea until I saw his reaction with my respond to his question. Well, part of me I wish that he will propose the idea again and yet the other part of me really hope that he gives up with us and never proposing it again because it's a bad thing.

I still think that the whole relationship is a bad idea. How to overcome this feeling??? I need a new distraction because the old one is useless. Where can I find a new one? I need it fast!

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